djtrimal:

*watches Netflix

*looks at clock

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*watches Netflix

diacrit:

hanesonly:

I almost forgot my briefcase!

it contains important lab results

diacrit:

hanesonly:

I almost forgot my briefcase!

it contains important lab results

witness-protection-with-wings:

witness-protection-with-wings:

so when i was 8 i was in an episode of iCarly and even though i’m 16 now and i have a pixie cut my friends still tell everyone that i was in iCarly.

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i pushed another child off a bench and stole her sandwich this is my legacy

bunny-the-lifeguard:

I don’t know why this is so funny but I legit just laughed for probably 10 minutes straight oh my god

bunny-the-lifeguard:

I don’t know why this is so funny but I legit just laughed for probably 10 minutes straight oh my god

burgerkid:

making eye contact with a hot stranger and knowing you will never see them again

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theimmortalironfists:

look i don’t wanna be famous for the fame i want to be famous so i can meet other famous people

meladoodle:

my dad just told me this story about a party he was at when he was younger. he was quite drunk, and went to go grab a random beer bottle to drink out of. after taking a sip he felt something hit his teeth and his immediate thought was ‘holy shit that was a snail’ and just started vomiting everywhere. then he looked down and saw it was just a bottle cap and i cant stop laughing. he was so certain about it

vtforpedro:

Good god why is this cracking me up so much

radsturbate:

marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than u so they wont eat all of urs

snarky-knight:

shouldnt:

when you have a lot of homework and not enough time

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When you have a group project due the next class

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imaginethebutts:

me in math class

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